Scott’s sextortion safety tips
At the end of May, Barefoot Investor Scott Pape wrote a heart-wrenching post to his large database. Entitled ‘This is the hardest thing I’ve ever written’, it detailed an extremely moving conversation he had with Wayne about Mac taking his own life following an incident of sextortion.
We got a huge response to that email, including many offers of practical support and donations as well as words of encouragement and the sharing stories.
Scott also included some advice for parents and people facing cyber issues. With his permission, we have included an excerpt from that email.
“I’ll admit that I’ve shed more than a few tears this week talking to Wayne.
As the father of four kids, it all hit way too close to home for me. And, if you have a young person in your life, perhaps it does for you too.
So this week I spoke to Susan McLean, widely regarded as Australia’s first cyber-cop.
“Sextortion is huge, it’s a massive problem”, she told me.
“In my 30 years of policing, I’ve never seen a crime type that is tipping previously mentally well young people into a crisis as quickly as sextortion does”, she said.
Now, I’m a money expert with no cyber qualifications, yet there are a few things I got out of my chat with Susan, starting off with what does not work:
Most parents read the doom and gloom headlines about tech rotting their kids’ brains, causing them to overreact and go all Judge Judy on their kids. Not only does this not work, it makes their kids much less likely to come to them if something goes wrong.
Try these three things instead:
Ask Your Kids to Create an Online Contract
Sit down with your kids and explain the concerns you have about the addictiveness of the apps, the mental health challenges they create, and the risks posed by the internet.
Now here’s the trick:
Have your kids create a contract on how they’ll manage their day-to-day online use.
You should give them some pointers of what a good contract should contain:
- Regular tech-free times
- Sharing passwords and logins to all accounts
- No phones in bedrooms and bathrooms
- What they should do if they feel unsafe or see something that makes them uncomfortable.
Then, have them pick their punishment for breaking the contract they’ve set. (When I get my kids to do this, it’s always harsher than what I’d come up with!)
This works because you’re treating your kids with respect … and that goes a long way.
No Social Media until 16
Have your kids read this article.
When they do, the first thing they’ll say is … “Yeah, but I’d never send a nude pic”.
And the next thing you’ll say is, “You don’t have to. Scammers are now creating AI-generated fake nudes and using them to blackmail kids.”
Right now there’s a petition on Change.org to get the Government to raise the age limit of social media to 16 (I signed it this week).
Do I think it will actually do anything?
Shrugs.
Zuckerberg (and the other tech bros) will likely get around anything imposed on them.
They’re way ahead – investing tens of billions a year into AI algorithms that promise to change the way humans interact, with the sole aim of making as much money as humanly possible.
So anything we can do to make these pricks’ lives harder is good by me.
The bottom line?
Don’t wait for the Government to protect your kids. That’s not their job. It’s your job. Keep your kids off social media as long as possible. Nothing good is happening there.
Don’t Be a Hypocrite
Imagine if you told your kids not to drink … while they watch you down a beer at breakfast. The truth is your kids may not listen to you, but they never fail to model you.
So, how often are you at the kitchen table blankly scrolling through Instagram in front of them?
Know this: to make lasting change, you need to have a good hard look at your technology habits.
And so, here’s one final cock-a-doodle-doo:
Sign the same contract your kids came up with. I guarantee you’ll be much happier for it.